Scarlett Johansson’s Breasts, Body Image, Health, Fitness and the Gossip Rags


Here we go again.

  • Hollywood actress gains and/or loses weight.
  • Tabloids go crazy with stories of extreme diets, 5 hour personal training torture sessions, shrinking boobs, etc…
  • Hollywood actress gets angry and fights back.

jennifer love hewitt stop calling me fatLast year, it was actress Jennifer Love Hewitt kicking some tabloid butt in response to their over the top coverage of her weight gain and subsequent weight loss.

This year, it’s Scarlett Johansson opening up a can of literary whoop-ass on the tabloids.

In an article written for the Huffington Post, Scarlett defends her recent transformation as a result of her dedication to “getting into ‘superhero shape’ for her upcoming role in the sequel to Iron Man.

She also went on to say that “once filming is completed, I’ll no longer need to rehash the 50 ways to lift a dumbbell, but I’ll commit to working out at least 30 minutes a day and eating a balanced diet of fruit, vegetables and lean proteins”.

“Pull ups, crunches, lunges, squats, jumping jacks, planks, walking, jogging and push ups are all exercises that can be performed without fancy trainers or gym memberships”.

“I’ve realized through this process that no matter how busy my life may be, I feel better when I take a little time to focus on staying active. We can all pledge to have healthy bodies no matter how diverse our lifestyles may be”.

Alright! Way to go Scarlett. Health & fitness Woo Hoo!!!

Since dedicating myself to getting into “superhero shape,” several articles regarding my weight have been brought to my attention. Claims have been made that I’ve been on a strict workout routine regulated by co-stars, whipped into shape by trainers I’ve never met, eating sprouted grains I can’t pronounce and ultimately losing 14 pounds off my 5’3″ frame.

Losing 14 pounds out of necessity in order to live a healthier life is a huge victory.

I’m a petite person to begin with, so the idea of my losing this amount of weight is utter lunacy.

If I were to lose 14 pounds, I’d have to part with both arms. And a foot.

I’m frustrated with the irresponsibility of tabloid media who sell the public ideas about what we should look like and how we should get there.

Ooh, that had to hurt. Gotta give that round to Scarlett.

Every time I pass a newsstand, the bold yellow font of tabloid and lifestyle magazines scream out at me: “Look Who’s Lost It!” “They Were Fabby and Now They’re Flabby!” “They Were Flabby and Now They’re Flat!” We’re all aware of the sagas these glossies create: “Look Who’s Still A Sea Cow After Giving Birth to Twins!” Or the equally perverse: “Slammin’ Post Baby Beach Bodies Just Four Days After Crowning!”

Another round to Ms. Johansson.

And feeling that she is in control of this fight, Scarlett proceeds to smack around her opponent with a discussion of the media and eating disorders, healthy body image, our culture of celebrity worship and her assertion that celebrities are just like us.

She ends her essay by saying that “I’m not normally the type to dignify toilet paper rags with a response, but in this case I feel it’s my responsibility to comment. In a way, I’m glad some dummy journalist (and I use the term “journalist” loosely) is banking on my “deflating” so that I can address the issue straight from my healthy heart.

After reading that paragraph, I wondered which dummy journalist she was referring to. After a little googling, I found this post at

Scarlett Johansson Deflates

Scarlett Johansson complained about the “rigid diet” she’s on when she showed up “very slim” to a London film party Tuesday, says Page Six‘s source. The starlet does seem streamlined.

Perhaps the actress is prepping for a film role. Maybe she’s tired of people talking about “The Johanssons.”


But the sudden weight loss does make one wonder whether Johansson has changed her opinion about America being “obsessed with dieting rather than focusing on eating well, exercising and living a healthy life.”

Particularly if one is insane with jealousy at Johansson’s frankly elegant new look.


So, now we know why Scarlett wrote what she wrote.

How did Gawker respond to Scarletts verbal tongue lashing?

Like this…

Oh, Scarlett, We Were Talking About Your Tits

We support your non-crash-dieting advocacy and condemnation of gross fattie-fat-fat stories.

But we were just talking about your cans, love. Your precious, precious, career-making cans.

Stay Classy Gawker.